Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
