we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize