hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm just crazy horny about you
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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