you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
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