i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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