Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
