I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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