thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
