Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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