For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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