News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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