i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
