I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
