Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I am one with the molecules
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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