Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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