He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
