erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
