this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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