Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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