They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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