please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize