it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
