Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
