make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
