Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
