Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
