Whoa Z and x make the same sound
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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