Say something about gay babies.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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