You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
