I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
