i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just had sex on a roof
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
