oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
