Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
