I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
My bed smells like the plague
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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