i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
