I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
my liver is dry heaving
Randomize
