they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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