I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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