This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
