Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
