she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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