the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
