I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Blood and glitter go together right?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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