that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
