i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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