Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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