just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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