okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
