i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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