i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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