i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
