just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
