I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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