It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
