If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
