it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
