Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
