Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
