So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
