he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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