The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
