It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
