mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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