you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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